Beauty and the Scale?
by AnimeAngelFox
Summary: *For Indigo Tantarians challenge*Scale, Ankh, Bakura and Yami are forced to be mortals for 2 wks.,in which time Scale is supposed to learn to care for someone besides himself.Scale/Mai Sh/Is S/Ankh
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh is owned by Kazuki Takahashi. Scale/Senui and Ankh/Ankhkare belong to Indigo Tantarian. Suma belongs to me.  
  
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Hello. This is for Indigo Tantarian's challenge to pair a char. someone with Shadi or one or her OCs. If you haven't read her fic "Three in One Combo", then you might get confused by some parts of this story. The couple is Scale/Senui X Mai. Sorry all Mai/Jounouchi fans! Mai/Jounouchi is one of my fave couples, but I also like seeing other people being paired with Mai. If you're restricted to Jounouchi/Mai, then I suggest you click the Back button on your browser.  
  
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/ Shadi, Ryou, or Yugi to Scale, Ankh, Bakura, or Yami /  
  
// Yami, Bakura, or Ankh to Yugi, Ryou, or Shadi //  
  
[Scale to Shadi or Ankh]  
  
'thoughts '  
  
^Suma to anybody^  
  
I heard that in Ancient Egypt, Bakura's name was Akifa. Suma will call him Akifa, but everyone else will refer to him as Bakura. She will also call Scale Senui, Ankh she will call Ankhkare, and Yami she'll call Pharaoh Yuugiou or just Yuugiou while everyone else will use their regular names. I'll be using Japanese names. The following is a guide to the Japanese names or terms I might use:   
  
Aibou=Partner  
  
Sennen Items = Millennium Items  
  
Ankh = Key  
  
Tauk = Necklace  
  
Hai = Yes  
  
Iie = no  
  
Hentai= pervert  
  
Baka = Stupid, Idiot, etc.  
  
Onna = Woman, Female  
  
Gaki = Brat  
  
Rishid = Odion  
  
Anzu Mazaki = Tea Gardner  
  
Jounouchi (Jou) Katsuya = Joey Wheeler  
  
Shizuka Katsuya =Serenity Wheeler  
  
Honda Hiroto = Tristan Taylor  
  
Ryou Bakura = Bakura Ryou  
  
Isis Ishtar/Ishtal = Ishizu Ishtar  
  
Malik/Marik/Mariku Ishtar/Ishtal = Marik Ishtar  
  
Pegasus J. Crawford = Maximillion Pegasus  
  
Cynthia Crawford = Cecelia Pegasus  
  
Sugoroku Mutou = Solomon Muto  
  
Otogi Ryuuji = Duke Devlin  
  
Mai Kujaku = Mai Valentine  
  
All the other characters either had the same name in both versions, isn't mentioned in the fic, or I couldn't think of right away is not on the list. As you might have guessed, Yami Bakura is Bakura and Regular Bakura is Ryou. Now on with the fic!  
  
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It was a normal day in Domino City. Birds were flying, the sun was shining, cars were passing by, and Shadi, Malik, Ryou, and Isis were all suddenly zapped into the game shop where Yugi was at. Yes, it was a very normal day. Wait just a cotton pickin' minute! Shadi, Malik, Ryou and Isis suddenly appeared in the same room as Yugi!?! That ain't normal. Let's take a look at this, shall we?  
  
Yugi was in the Kame Game Shop completely bored. Yami was asleep in his soul room, Anzu was visiting her grandmother in Tokyo today, Honda was sick, Jounouchi had decided to make good on his promise to Shizuka to take her to the beach, His and he hadn't talked to Ryou since he saw him at school yesterday. Mai was supposed to be coming by later. Bakura had taken her Harpie Lady card last time they saw her and had hid it in the coffee container at Yugi's. Unfortunately for Bakura, Mai was REALLY mad when she found out. There wasn't much damage done to the card and Mai was coming to pick it up. At the moment, however, no one was there and Yugi was VERY bored. Suddenly, Malik, Ryou, Shadi, and Isis appeared in the room. Yugi of course, was very surprised by this. After he got out of his shock, he finally said something.  
  
"How the heck did all of you get here!?!"  
  
Shadi, Ryou, Isis, and Malik were also surprised by this. After they realized where they were at, or at least got an idea of where they were at, Isis answered him.  
  
"All I know is it was some sort of magic. But I don't know who brought us here, or why."  
  
[It took her long enough to tell us what we already know. Or at least what those of us who aren't baka weaklings know.]  
  
// Scale, don't be so rude. //  
  
[Well it's obvious that we were brought here by magic. The Baka Onna shouldn't waste our time telling us stuff we already know!]  
  
// Scale, you really shouldn't talk about Isis like that! //  
  
[ I guess I might not should around you, because like her, you too are a Baka Onna.]  
  
/ I see that you have picked up some of the Japanese language. But that is enough Scale. Stop insulting people! /  
  
[And I should listen to the King of Bakas because?]  
  
/Because I need to be able to concentrate to be able to figure out what is going on! Don't you want to know who brought us here!?! /  
  
[Yes.]  
  
/Then be quiet! /  
  
[Fine.]  
  
/Oh, and Scale/  
  
[What!?!]  
  
/ You should be more creative with your insults. It's good that you're learning more of the Japanese names, but baka does wear off after a while. /  
  
[Shut Up!]  
  
Shadi and Isis were trying to figure out who had brought them there, Yugi was trying to wake up Yami, Ryou was TRYING to talk to Bakura and see if he knew what was going on, and Malik was just...there. Let's take a look at Yami's soul room and see if Yugi's having any luck.  
  
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Yugi was in Yami's soul room attempting to wake Yami up, but this was an extremely hard task.  
  
/YAMI, WAKE UP!!!!!!!!/  
  
Yugi of course didn't hear any response. He hadn't expected to. The only thing that ever worked was ice. Unfortunately, the last time Yugi used ice to wake Yami up, he sent the refrigerator to the Shadow Realm. Sugoroku was now out buying a new one. Yami turned over in his sleep, clutched his pillow, and mumbled "Isis."  
  
'It's no use, he's sound asleep. Oh well, I guess I'll have to talk to him later. I better not tell Malik what Yami said in his sleep. I don't want to deal with an angry Malik.'  
  
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Just as Yugi was snapping back to reality, Shadi and Isis were finally figuring out what was going on as they both said the same name.  
  
"Suma."  
  
"Who's Suma?" Ryou asked, curiosity overwhelming him.  
  
"She's an immortal person that every thousand years must see how well things are going with the Sennen Items and their owners. She must also see how well the guardian of the Sennen Items is doing his job. She is very powerful when it comes to magic and can see what we are doing at any time she feels like it so she'll always know if somebody is lying to her." Isis answered.  
  
[You mean to tell me that that Baka Onna is finally getting around to doing her job?]  
  
/ / Scale, you really shouldn't talk about Suma like that. She might've been really busy with other stuff. //  
  
[For the last five millennia?]  
  
^ No, I just never saw it necessary until now. ^  
  
[Who the heck are you and what doing in MY mind!?!]  
  
/ Who's mind? /  
  
[I'm the only one here that actually has a mind.]  
  
// But I thought me and you shared this mind with Shadi. //  
  
/ I guess he doesn't appreciate us enough to mention us. /  
  
^ Apparently not. ^  
  
/ Who are you anyway? /  
  
^ I am Suma. Now drop out of this conversation so I can make myself known to the others. ^  
  
Shadi did as he was told. Just as he did, a woman with dark purple hair and dark green eyes appeared. She had tan skin and was obviously Egyptian. Ryou and Yugi were slightly afraid, Isis wasn't, and Malik had apparently fallen asleep out of boredom.  
  
"It is alright, you need not be afraid. I am Suma."  
  
Ryou and Yugi calmed down a bit. Suma seemed like a nice person. She was mysterious, but nice. She began to speak again.  
  
"I have been watching the events of this millennium, and I'm not very happy about them. Pharaoh Yuugiou almost killed Seto Kaiba, the true holder of the Sennen Rod. Akifa, or Bakura as you call him, is obsessed with blood, ungrateful to his host, and took the Sennen Eye from its true owner. Senui gave the Sennen Rod to Malik instead of its true owner, which caused Malik to go insane and create an entirely different spirit. The worst part is that Shadi, the guardian of the Sennen Items, and Ankhkare, the spirit of the Ankh who is more powerful than Senui, allowed everything to happen. The only spirits that I'm not disappointed in is the spirit of the Tauk, and Seth (don't own him.), the spirit of the Rod. They shall go by unpunished. The spirits of the Scales, Ankh, Puzzle, and Ring must be punished. So shall the guardian of the Sennen Items. I will bring the spirits out now."  
  
Suma began to chant a spell in Egyptian. After she was finished, the spirits of the Ring, Puzzle, Scales, and Ankh appeared. Yami was still asleep and seemed to be wondering where "Isis" went, Ankh was perfectly content, and Scale was angry. Bakura was the spirit that everybody was watching. He didn't seem to notice the change and was listening to a CD player, singing along with it, and dancing to it. Let's take a look at this, shall we?  
  
"I was driving through Georgia in late July

 On a day hot enough to make the devil sigh

 I saw a homemade sign written in red

 Run county watermelon festival ahead  
  
Well I wasn't in a hurry 

So I slowed down

 Took a two lane road to a one horse town 

There was a party going on when I got there

 I heard a welcome speech from a small town mayor  
  
He said we got a hundred gallons 

Of sweet red wine 

Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine

 Help yourself to some 

But obey the law 

If you drink don't drive Do the watermelon crawl."  
  
By this time, everybody was laughing their heads off and Bakura finally noticed that he was no longer in his soul room and definitely was not alone. He was of couse VERY, VERY mad. (Not to mention embarrassed.)  
  
"HOW THE HECK DID I GET HERE, WHY ARE ALL OF YOU HERE, WHO THE HECK IS SHE, AND WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!?!?!?!?!?!?!"  
  
"Suma brought you here, we're here because she brought us here, her name is Suma, and we're laughing at you," Scale answered the best he could through his laughter.  
  
Everyone continued to laugh until either tears appeared in their eyes or they got the hiccups. Bakura's face was as redder than a tomato by the time they stopped. Finally, everybody got over what they had seen, but still wished they had a camera at that time.  
  
After that little scene was over with, they tried to wake up Yami. They tried water, yelling, food, Bakura's CD, and almost everything else you could think of. Finally, Bakura walked over to Yami and brought his foot down on Yami's stomach really hard.  
  
"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
##################################Commercial Break##############################################  
  
Are you a five thousand year old spirit living in an ancient puzzle? Are you being abused in any way? Then call 1-800-YAMIABUSE. We'll help you in any way we can.  
  
This commercial was brought to you by Anime*Angel*Fox, the writer of many fanfics.  
  
##############################End Commercial####################################################  
  
After Yami caught his breath, which took a while, Suma explained everything to him.  
  
"So what are our punishments?" Yami asked.  
  
"Akifa's punishment was getting caught singing and your punishment was missing it."  
  
Bakura growled as she continued.  
  
" Shadi, Senui, and Ankhkare must live in Japan for two weeks. During that time, they will live as normal people and won't be able to use magic."  
  
"WHAT!?! "Ankh, Shadi, and Scale all said at once.  
  
"Don't argue. I think it will be best this way. Don't worry about not knowing the language. Whenever someone hears you speak, they will think you are speaking in Japanese. I think that Senui just needs to learn how to care for someone and show it. As for Ankhkare and Shadi, I think they can handle this punishment."  
  
"What makes you say that I can care for anyone? And even if I did, who would it be?"  
  
"I think that a couple of weeks as a mortal will have an effect on you. And as for who, I believe a suitable person will be arriving soon."  
  
After she said that, she disappeared without another word.  
  
// Aibou, are we expecting company? //  
  
/Mai/  
  
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I know that was a terrible place to end it, but this chapter is just getting too long. Sorry about any OOCness. BTW, "Watermelon Crawl" belongs to Tracy Byrd. Romance comes later. I need insults for people to use, so if you have any, tell me in a review. REVIEW!!!!!!!! Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.


	2. Pink, Nelly, and The Possum

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO, Scale/Senui, or Ankh/Ankhare.

Before I start apologizing, let me respond to the reviews.

^*^

**Indigo Tantarian: I hated to do that to Baku-chan. Yes, Yami was punished by missing that, though I don't think Suma agrees with me. Arigato! I was wondering if you minded me adding another couple or two to this story? I was thinking about having an Ankh/Shizuka and a possible Shadi/Isis pairing, if that's OK with you, that is.**

**Absolute Ruler: Thanks! I'll try to keep it funny. It's OK.**

**Jaid Skywalker: Thanks for the insult! I'm glad you like it!**

**Rambling Chaos: Thank you so much! I've FINALLY continued.**

*^*

OK, now that that's over with, I'd like to apologize for not updating sooner. I could give you all my reasons for not updating sooner, but I think I'll just go on with the fic. Thoughts have changed to _italics_ and I've changed the summary.

***

// Mai? Please tell me you're kidding. //

/ I'm not kidding. / 

// Then Suma's insane. //

/ Yami! /

// What? //

/That's not nice. /

// It's the truth. //

/ If she does something to you then I wouldn't blame her. /

^ I'm galad to here you say that, Yugi^

/ Suma? /

^ Yes, it is I. I've decided that my punishments for Bakura* and Yuugiou were not good enough, so I'm giving them the same punishment as Ankhkare and Senui ^

// What do you mean the punishments weren't good enough? I apparently missed Bakura in an embarrasing moment and got stepped on! Besides, I'm the Pharaoh. I'm not supposed to get punished! //

^And I don't care if you're Ra himself, you are going to be punished! ^

After she said that, everyone heard a LOUD crash of thunder.

"Strange." Yugi said.

"What the heck was that!?!" Asked a startled Malik who had just woken up.

"It was only a crash of thunder moron." Scale answered.

"Oh," Malik simply replied.

"I don't... believe it," Bakura began. "After five thousand years I finally have a body! I have a body! Thank Ra, I have a body!"

"I hate to burst your bubble, wait.... no I don't, but either way it's only temporary." Yami told him.

"Oh," Bakura began, "I knew that."

"Would someone mind telling me what's going on here?" Malik asked.

~*~

"So, Ankh, Scale, Bakura, and the Pharaoh are all mortal for two weeks?" Malik asked to confirm everything he'd just been told.

"Correct," Isis answered.

"Cool." Malik replied.

"Cool?" Ankh asked.

"It's another word for 'neat' or 'interesting', weed head." Scale told him.

That comment caused everyone to look at Scale strangely.

"What are you all gawking at?" Scale asked. (A*A*F: I cannot believe I just used you all instead of ya'll!)

"Nothing," Shadi began, "I just didn't think you knew what such a modern word meant."

"That just proves how big of an idiot you are." Scale told him.

"So, Bakura, from what I've heard you seem to like music." Malik said.

"What's it to you?" Bakura asked.

"Nothing, I was just wondering who your favorite singer was."

"The Possum." Bakura answered.

"Who?" Malik asked.

"George Jones." Bakura answered.

"George Jones is your favorite singer? How? I mean, everybody knows that Pink is the best singer." Malik asked and said.

"I don't think so!" Yami exclaimed. "Nelly's the best singer alive."

"No, it's the Possum."

"Pink!"

"Nelly!"

"THe Possum!"

"Pink!"

"Nelly!"

"The Possum!

"Pink!"

"Nelly!"

Everybody sweatdropped as Yami, Bakura, and Malik continued to argue over who's the best singer.

"What are they arguing about?" Ankh asked.

"Who the better singer is," Yugi answered.

"I see." Shadi said.

"How...odd." Ankh said.

"Why don't we go into the living room. It might be a little quieter," Yugi suggested.

~*~

Everybody was sitting down in the living room enjoyin some tea when they heard Jounouchi's voice.

"Hey Yug, Malik, Yami an' Bakura are yellin' sumthin' 'bout possums an' da color pink." Jou said. (Sadiki: What an idiot!)

"I know, Jou," Yugi said as he sweatdropped. "What are you doing here?"

"It looked like it was going to rain so we decided to come by here," Shizuka answered. "Who's that?" She asked, looking directly at Ankh.

"Sit down and we'll explain everything." Isis answered."

~*~

"So, lemme get dis straight," Jounouchi began, "You two ar' spirits like Yami an' Bakura. An' you two, Bakura, an' Yami are all mortal for two weeks."

"He's got it! He's got it! By Ra, he's finally got it!" Ryou exclaimed.

Everybody looked at Ryou strangely after he said that.

"I've been hanging around my yami too much, haven't I?" Ryou asked.

"Yeah." Jounouchi said.

"Hey Yugi, I've come to get my Harpie Lady card." mai said as she walked in the room wondering why Bakura, Malik, and Yami were shouting Pink, Nelly, and The Possum. She and Scale's eyes met.

"Who's the fashion-challenged idiot/Who's the slut?" They asked simultaneously, and then glared at each other.

***

*- I found out Bakura's name in Ancient Egypt really was Bakura so now that's what Suma will call him.

That's it for this chapter. R&R!


	3. Of Plans, Strangeness, and Arguments

**Indigo Tantarian – Yeah, I think you're right about that. Thanks for letting me add the couples! I love Shadi/Isis, too. Scale/Shizuka does seem rather popular... Well I finally added more. BTW, the 3rd chapter of "The Odd and Original Couple" is up.**

**Jaid Skywalker – Thanks! You think so? It's OK.**

Okay, I'm in a hurry to post this b/c I have to get ready to go to a baseball game and maybe kill my cousin if he shouts "Kill the umpire!" like he did last time I went to a baseball game and he was there. So, here's this chapter!

"What did you just call me!?!" They asked each other again, simultaneously. "You herd me!"

"I have a feelin' dis ain't gonna turn out good," Jounouchi stated.

"That makes two of us," Isis replied.

Everyone then continued to watch the argument, which might be able to pass as WWIII.

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A*A*F: What happened?

Suma: You said WWIII; it's supposed to be WWIV.

A*A*F: There's only been two World Wars.

Suma: What about that one in the 1800's your always reading about that happened when that Abram Minkus was President?

A*A*F: That's the Civil War, and his name is Abraham Lincoln!

Suma: I knew that!

Sadiki: *mutters* Yeah right.

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ANYWAY, like I was saying, everyone then continued to watch the argument, which might be able to pass as WWIII.

"At least I know how to dress properly!"

"You call that thing you're wearing 'dressing properly'? That's a laugh!"  
  


"For your information this happens to be very fashionable! Especially when it's compared to something that looks like it's from five thousand years ago! I mean come on, who in their right mind would wear a turban?"

"She didn't have to go that far," Shadi said to apparently nobody.

"I agree," Ankh replied after hearing Shadi say that and then continued to watch the argument.

"Oh like that hay on your head is any better!"

"This is hair!"

"It is? You could have fooled me!"

Everyone sweatdropped as the argument continued and some were beginning to get headaches. OF course, that's not really a big surprise, I mean, what would happen to you if two five-thousand-year-old-spirits were arguing about singers with a teenager, you had to explain something semi-complicated to a baka (Sadiki: *coughJoucough*), and now another five-thousand-year old spirit was arguing with one of the few female duelists? Wouldn't you get a headache too?

"Yugi, do you happen to have any aspirin, I think I'm getting a headache?" Ryou requested.

"Sure, Ryou," Yugi answered.

"Do you mind getting me one too?" Shadi asked.

"No, I don't," Yugi answered as he walked into the refrigerator-less kitchen.

 "So, Ryou, since when does your yami listen to music so much?" Isis asked curiously.

"Well, it all started when my dad was home a few weeks ago," Ryou began I wasn't feeling to well so I talked Bakura into taking control of my body while I slept in my soul room. It was raining badly that day, so he had to stay home. My dad listens to Country music a lot, so Bakura was forced to listen to it while I was asleep. When I woke up, he and my dad were singing along to the song 'He Stopped Loving Her Today' by George Jones. Ever since then he listens to music all the time. He hasn't even mentioned anything about acquiring the Sennen Items."

"Strange..." Isis replied not knowing what to think of the whole thing. _What is going on? First, Malik gets on this whole music obsession, now Bakura and apparently Yami? What could be making this happen?_

Meanwhile, the gods snickered at Isis' confusion and Suma was getting a very interesting idea.

                                                                      ~*~

_This is not going as well as I had planned, Suma thought to herself and frowned as she watched through what appeared to be, oddly enough, a television screen what was going on in the game shop. She pushed a button on the television remote and the screen focused on Ankh and Shizuka, who were talking about something. _If only Senui and Mai could get along that well. There has got to be some way to get them together. _She turned her attention to a newspaper that was lying on the floor. There were two pictures on the front page that caught her attention, one that had a house and the other of a policeman.__ That's it! _

Suma now had the perfect fool-proof plan; she just needed some help...

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I know that was beyond short, but I'll make up for it next chapter. Now, I got to go. Ja Ne! 


End file.
